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Vivian
Just Said Yes June 2023

Divorced Parents with Ultimatums

Vivian, yesterday at 10:50 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 5
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My parents have been divorced for 25 years. Yes, 25 years. My mom has offered to pay for my wedding, but has said my dad is not allowed to attend and has suggested getting a restraining order. She claims she cannot even be in the same room as my dad because he didn’t raise me or support me over the years and threatens it will trigger her to fall off the wagon. She suggests that she will walk me down the aisle and that I can have a separate celebration with my dad.


My dad has said he will financially contribute but there’s conditions to locations, specific caterer, time of year etc. He said that he agrees not to come to the bigger celebration if I walk down the aisle with him at a smaller gathering. My fiancé does not like the idea of having two ceremonies, and even is hesitant to do two celebrations.
I am at a point where I don’t want to be in the middle of this and am considering paying for the wedding myself.
Any advice is appreciated.

5 Comments

Latest activity by mrswinteriscoming, yesterday at 11:35 PM
  • JM Sunshine
    JM Sunshine ·
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    Yes, if you do not want any strings attached then you should look for ways to finance your wedding so it is exactly what YOU and fiance want it to be.
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  • Pat
    Devoted May 2023
    Pat ·
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    WHY do parents play tug of war with their children?? <shaking head sadly>

    You have two options - pay for the wedding yourself and let your parents duke it out, OR ELOPE. I know the second option may be sucky, but man I would "leave the drama behind". You could do a lovely destination elopement and then come home for a nice celebration dinner.

    Whatever you choose, I hope it makes you and your FH happy and stress free.

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  • Vivian
    Just Said Yes June 2023
    Vivian ·
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    Thank you, JM. I agree that looking at financing it personally may be the route we need to go.
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  • Vivian
    Just Said Yes June 2023
    Vivian ·
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    Have considered elopement in the form of going to the courthouse, and then not having either parent feel they lost out on walking me down the aisle. So agree it should be happy and stress free!
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  • mrswinteriscoming
    Rockstar December 2021
    mrswinteriscoming ·
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    I think there are just way too many potential complications by accepting either parent's proposal.

    Plan the wedding that you and your fiance want and then leave it up to your parents to decide if they want to come. If they can't put aside their differences for one day to see you get married, that's on them, not you.

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